The opposite of chaos – emptiness of mind?

“What is the opposite of chaos?” she asked.

“Emptiness” I said instantly.

She looked at me and smiled professionally before she asked another question.

“Are you sure you feel that emptiness is the opposite of chaos?”

I looked away and felt as if the question was penetrating me. I did not know.

No, who am I kidding, of course I knew.

“Yes, I think so.”

And then, for a moment, I thought about it again and said something I wasn’t able to keep in mind.

I like it when my river is wild.

What is the opposite of chaos? I feel like it is emptiness. But what does emptiness mean?

I used to think of emptiness as a negative feeling, but now that I come to think of a review I wrote about Sam Samore’s exhibition last summer, it can also be a good thing. “Sam Samore’s art makes you achieve emptiness of mind, in a good way,” I wrote as a conclusion. I remember, one of the models’ dark eyes managed to freeze me and for an indefinable moment I stood still in the middle of the gallery, feeling empty, just because I found it hard to rip myself out of Samore’s dream zone and go back to reality.

I wish my current emptiness was caused by strong feelings. I wish I could fall off the cliff and feel empty and chaotic at the same time.

lake of love

childhood innocence they long for,

while grieving a few drinks later.

the wine of life tastes like

heaven. and I am

dreaming of you drinking

from my lake of love.

ilkin demircan ’05

Falling off the cliff

I want to see it coming, the edge, and keep walking just to see what happens. I have never fallen off the cliff before. I have promised myself to keep walking next time I see it.

Renkli rüyalar oteli

“Renkli rüyalar oteli” dinliyorum ve her zamanki gibi icimden film cevirmek geliyor.