boyish attitudes
One of my friends mentioned that she thinks it is charming when a man can’t cut his nails straight. I totally get it. There is definitely something charming about everything that is boyish in a man. Boyish attitudes combined with a strong, intelligent character is simply irresistible and it does open a door for a caring woman to make an entrance.
Comments like “Oh no.. I didn’t realize I have a stain on my sweater. Hm. Ah well.” or “Oh, it doesn’t really matter, this morning I put on my boxers while they were still wet.” are enough to make me twist my hair around my finger, play with my earrings and giggle in amusement.
Angus & Julia Stone – Just a Boy
cage
He has a room full of birds. Yes, really. And he lives in a self created cage. No, of course, he is not aware.
Oh, the world is so not like he thinks it is!
happy ending
I was going to tell you a story so sweet that it would make you think about the taste of a red lollipop and the touch of small hearts falling upon you.
But the only thing I can remember is a girl thinking…
…you don’t know it yet, but we are going to get married.
…his trembling hands, the stolen, childish looks he gave her.
…and the happy ending.
time ain’t gonna cure you honey, time don’t give a shit
The beauty of not being able to sleep is barely tolerable. Just like the stunning glow of a prince. I am your prince, he said. I laughed. He made my sorrow blossom into an emptiness at a time I used to say good night at sunrise.
I should have had second thoughts the moment he referred to himself as a prince. When did I ever dream about a prince? That never happened. Not once. That is why his glow was barely tolerable.
Substitutes I wrote about yesterday, because the ticking clock in the kitchen made me think about which substitutes I have included in my life just to make up for the urge to run away.
Tick tock. Tick tock. Time is running. I had reached a point where I couldn’t see the difference between the original and the substitute. What is so wrong about substitutes anyway, I could hear myself say, very persuasive indeed.
If I were to portray myself in music today, I would give you Midnight Boom by The Kills. Listen to the album. Yes, every song.
“Time ain’t gonna cure you honey time don’t give a shit…”
In-between, that is where I am today. Very happy. Very positive. Full of courage. Full of love. But also full of regrets.
Time is running and it doesn’t give a shit. Keep that in mind.
substitutes and connections
Nature’s harmony is fascinating. It is strange how everything and everyone is connected in a certain matter. However, if you dare asking questions, if you are genuinely curious and able to come up with them in the first place, you might notice that it is difficult to rationalize the nonexistent answers. There must be a reason, because everything happens for a reason, I would say, but what if it isn’t so?
There are people who go through life without fitting in anywhere, without being connected to anyone in particular. On the other hand you can, of course, twist this statement around and say that these people are the ones who fit in everywhere and are connected to everyone.
Someone’s substitutes can help to get an understanding of why this person pursues certain issues or dreams. I think we are all trying to achieve completeness by nature and the sense of an emptiness or a lack of something is very often the reason for substitutes gained only to stay connected to life. What kind of substitutes do you have? Have you ever asked yourself that question?
Your substitutes may expose and portray your identity on a different level than you imagine, but it does take an attentive person to see the relevance. Not everyone comes up with the right questions, or any questions at all for that sake.
Connections tend to live a life on their own, which is why I am deeply fascinated by chain reactions. If you were to move one single incident from your past, your life would be nothing like it is right in this moment. Every piece, every mood, every street, every journey, every book, every film, every stranger, every friend etc lead you to and help to expand the big picture, your picture.
Here is an interesting scene from Bertolucci’s The Dreamers. Have a look.
The lighter scene.
the untouched mountains
How do you define a ski/snowboard/surf enthusiast who travels around the world just to ski/snowboard/surf?
My best friend calls him a ski bum – in a bad way.
I call him an adventurer – in a very, very fascinating way.
My best friends’ husband is going to The Alps just to ski, which is something he has done several times before. There is nothing wrong with skiing in The Alps. Of course not. She doesn’t think so either.
Anyway, this conversation lead me to telling her that another friend of mines boyfriend and his friends are in Russia, skiing and snowboarding on a mountain somewhere close to the border to Kazakhstan. I find it utterly fascinating. My best friend doesn’t. I think it is fascinating because there is a type of people who let themselves be driven by an urge to push boundaries to a level that is definitely not certain. These guys can’t exactly be described as ski bums (they do have descent jobs in Norway), but it is still amusing that they travel so far just to become a part of untouched mountains.
When I was nineteen I used to dream about going to New York and work at some random bar with my best friend. I believe it is not a surprise for you that she refused to do such a thing. Back then I was innocent enough to find the courage to move to a place where I couldn’t even get a legally job, but still not brave enough to do it on my own. Working at a bar remained a dream and now that I am brave enough to do things on my own, I can’t really picture myself living like that.
My best friend is a lawyer. She is married. She and her husband live happily in a house on the country side. She dreams of becoming a mother some time soon. I am, on the other side, full of regrets and afraid to death that I will settle without being blessed with an urge so powerful that it will make me go all the way to the untouched mountains of my dreams.
